Letting go of cherished requirements
One block to change (or to finding resolution) is our tendency to maintain a tight grip on our beliefs about matters; or to regard some features of our position or the circumstances as being unnegotiable.
The monkey trap provides a graphic picture of this situation:
To make a monkey trap, a thick branch of wood is hollowed out – with wooden plugs placed at each end so that the inside is inaccessible from the top or bottom. A hole is drilled in the side of the branch – just large enough for a monkey’s paw to enter… provided he keeps his digits straight and close together.
The hollow inside of the branch is then filled with nuts.
The trap? When the monkey grabs a nut, he needs to make a fist in order to withdraw it through the hole. However, if he makes a fist, he can no longer withdraw his paw – the hole is too small to allow this. If the monkey does not let go of the nut, he will be trapped there.
Similarly, holding on tightly to our beliefs about others – or to our own positions – trap us. To sort out matters, we need to question all of them… and let go of some – or on occasion, all.
